What to Know about a Home Appraisal Contingency

Potential home buyers face a number of decisions prior to submitting an offer, and some of those decisions involve contingencies. A contingency is a stipulation in a contract that impacts whether or not the contract can be fully executed. In previous posts, I wrote about mortgage contingencies, inspection contingencies, and sale and settlement contingencies. An appraisal contingency can be included with an Agreement of Sale if a buyer requires a mortgage to purchase a home.

For the 74% of buyers in the U.S. who will need financing to purchase their dream home, most will include an appraisal as part of the process. An appraisal is an estimate of fair market value for a property conducted by a professional not affiliated with the transaction in the state where the property is located. Most times, an appraisal is ordered by a lender prior to settlement to ensure the value of the loan matches the value of the property prior to a sale, however, there are a number of other scenarios that may require appraisals: refinances, pre-listing fact-finding, settlement of property in divorces, and estate planning.

A buyer using conventional financing can submit an appraisal contingency with an Agreement of Sale. The main component of an appraisal contingency is determining how the value of the home compares to the amount of money a buyer is asking for a lender to provide.

If a buyer is using an appraisal contingency, they will have an appraisal performed on a property within 30 days (or sooner if a shorter closing) of the executed contract. The appraiser will provide the lender with a detailed report. In the contingency addendum, the buyer will state that the agreement is contingent on the appraisal meeting the contract price or a specific amount below the contract price if the buyer has additional funds to make up the difference. The difference between a contract price and an appraised value is what’s known as an appraisal gap, which can impact whether or not a buyer is able to continue with a sale.

In terms of the contingency, if the appraisal comes back with a value that is equal to or greater than the contract price or the stated value below contract price, the transaction resumes on schedule. The buyer agrees to cover any gap by either providing additional funds at settlement, adjusting the loan amount stated in the mortgage or contingency paragraph in the Agreement of Sale, or adjusting the Loan-to-Value Ratio (LTV). In order to cover the appraisal gap, the buyer will put more money down to make up for the difference in the two values.

With the contingency, if an appraisal is completed and comes in low, the buyer can terminate the agreement or enter into a new agreement with the seller to account for the difference. If the buyer does not terminate or agree to new terms, they waive the appraisal contingency.

If the buyers is using an FHA or a VA loan, an appraisal contingency is already built into the contract language because these loans are backed by the government. If the home does not appraise for the value in the contract, the buyer has the right to terminate the contract with all deposit money returned.

Buyers should consult with their real estate agent and lender prior to submitting an offer to determine if the appraisal contingency is necessary, but in many scenarios the buyer should consider it in order to protect themselves from entering into a contract for a home they may not be able to afford. In the current market landscape in the Philadelphia region, many home prices are still trending up, so it’s likely the sale price will be higher than previous comparable sales, thought the amount of the difference may vary between markets and transactions.

The gaps should not be as high as they were two to three years ago when sale prices exploded, but clients of mine submitted and offer this week on a home that went for over $90,000 above asking price.

If you’d like to learn more about contingencies for buyers, sign up for my Contingency Workshop on September 25th at www.gregoldfield.com/buyersworkshop1

 

Teambuilding to Start the Season on the Same Foot

“A player who makes a team great is more valuable than a great player.”

--John Wooden

For decades, coaches have been improving player development by attaining and transferring knowledge on technical, tactical, and physical skills and concepts. However, in most team environments, social and emotional development is still often overlooked. A coach can have a great collective of individual players, but if the team doesn’t work cohesively toward a common goal, it will get no further than a group of less talented individuals. In today’s push to accelerate players to the highest levels, we’re missing out on the social and emotional progressions, especially on the heels of a pandemic that continues to affect some children (and adults) years later. And when young players cycle through teams like a revolving door, at some point the lack of social and emotional development will catch up when their skills begin to plateau.

For as long as I’ve been teaching and coaching, I’ve turned to John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success. Wooden, the longtime basketball coach at UCLA in the 1940s through 1970s, wasn’t the first coach to emphasize team culture or social development. But he certainly found a model that matched his own values. From 1967-1973, Wooden’s teams won 7 of their 10 NCAA titles, back when a team had to win the conference to get to the NCAA tournament. Even with NBA legends Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) and Bill Walton, Wooden’s teams exemplified teamwork both on and off the court.

What made Wooden’s methods unique was that his goal was never to win. His goal was what he perceived to be Competitive Greatness, or playing the best a team could play. Contrary to the modern era, where many attempt to prioritize product over process, Wooden was a strong proponent of the idea that winning is a potential benefit of performance. Teams can play great and lose or play poor and win, so controlling the process and performance became his team’s mission.

Building a cohesive team is an entirely different coaching skillset, but devoting early parts of the season to teach essential team skills can lead to elevated performances down the line. If a team thrives early, coaches can reinforce team skills that are firmly in place, while a drop in performance could result in identifying specific team skills to practice in future training sessions. Once a foundation is set, a team moves closer to reaching Competitive Greatness.

Some terms have been revised

Expecting players to naturally improve how they interact is like expecting every back heel to end up in the back of the net. Children and young teens (even adults) benefit from learning how social and emotional components influence the team’s performance in positive and negative ways. If the goal is to build the best team then practicing how to function as a team and how to respond to expected team situations becomes just as important as teaching technical, tactical, and physical skills.

How do we teach team skills?

Spencer Kagan, a longtime educator and proponent for cooperative learning, uses the acronym PIES when determining if an activity enhances cooperative learning. Kagan believes there’s a difference between a team activity and one that builds cooperation.

PIES stands for:

P- Positive Interdependence

I- Individual Accountability

E- Equal Participation

S- Simultaneous Interaction

Positive interdependence encompasses the relationship teammates share when relying on each other to reach common goals. Individual accountability holds every team member responsible and eliminates the person in the group who watches everyone else do the work. This is different than star players getting more action. In some ways, individual accountability also involves managing players, especially when one player’s mistakes are blips but that same player highlights others’ mistakes as if they were apocalyptic.

Every player has a role or function in a team. Some roles look and feel different than others. Equal participation in a cooperative sense ensures every player contributes. Whether it’s to score goals or prevent them, ever player should know their role and be actively fulfilling those roles at the same time. One of the hardest jobs for a coach is maintaining the motivation and preparation of players not in the game. However, whether coaching six year-olds or sixteen year-olds, the last player on the depth chart should feel as important as the first.

When teaching team skills, I’ve blended cooperative adventure learning models with competitive environments that relate more directly to the what our teams will experience together. Though many educators try to separate cooperation and competition, I believe they can be taught together. If we want our teams to function as a cooperative unit, players need to be mindful of the impact from single-minded winning, which can lead to cheating, implosions, stunted development, or even the loss of satisfaction associated with a strong performance because of a poor result. Instead, we want the satisfaction of winning to come from the positive social and emotional environment when a team, not just certain individuals, collaborates equally toward a common goal.

Players learn from the culture coaches create.

(Coming Soon: 5 Soccer Teambuilders Coaches Can Use Right Now)

Book of the Month: The 5 Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom

It’s easy to be consumed by the need to build financial wealth. Regardless of income, education, or socioeconomic status, many of us are driven by the desire to provide for our families, grow, and live fuller, more enriched lives. Money can help make that happen.

Legendary comedian Jim Carrey once said, “I think everyone should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that’s not the answer.”

In his book, The 5 Types of Wealth, author Sahil Bloom offers a comprehensive guide for establishing a more well-rounded portfolio of wealth. Bloom, a former pitcher at Stanford University, spent his early professional career in finance, establishing an upward trajectory in pursuit of the financial independence most Americans seek.

However, Bloom recalls an encounter with a friend that changed his perspective on life and inspired a book that has been a NY Times Bestseller and mentioned as one of Amazon’s Editor’s Best Books of 2025.

At the time, Bloom and his wife were living in California with young children, across the country from their families on the East Coast, where both he and his wife grew up. His friend, who had recently lost his father, asked Bloom how often he’d traveled back to see his aging parents.

“Once a year,” Bloom replied.

His friend calculated the age of Bloom’s parents with the average lifespan and mentioned to him, “So you’re going to see them fifteen more times.”

That moment impacted the rest of Bloom’s life, initiating his return to the east coast and his career as an author.

5 Types of Wealth establishes an in-depth view of the ways in which individuals can attain greater prosperity, with financial wealth named as the last of the five types of wealth behind:

Time Wealth

Social Wealth

Mental Wealth

Physical Wealth

When it comes to the 5 types of wealth, we may recognize our own strengths and weaknesses or be able to identify these categories in others we admire, but Bloom makes the argument that in order to enhance financial wealth, we need to lock in on the other four. Backed by research from numerous scholars and authors, Bloom’s book provides an abundance of references and strategies for anyone inclined to seek more knowledge in a particular area.

Lately, I’ve been very hung up on time wealth and have written about it recently. I’ve been more deliberately tracking the amount of time I spend working, driving, exercising, meditating, writing, on my phone, watching soccer, with others, all in an attempt to quantify my use of time and find ways in which I can leverage it. I don’t consider myself a time-oriented person and would never be known as always time efficient.

My college coach Barry Gorman’s first team rule was Be on Time.

Former Eagles player, NFL coach, and ESPN analyst Herm Edwards used to say, “Early is on time, and on time is late.”

Former Dallas Mavericks owner and Shark Tank star Mark Cuban said, “Time is the most valuable asset you don’t own.”

When we’re young, we’re considered time billionaires. It’s taken me half my life to understand the greater value of time, yet I’m still trimming wasted time like unnecessary words in a draft.

Bloom writes that there are three pillars to time wealth: awareness, attention, and control. Here he describes the significance of attention:

In 1666, when the bubonic plague was devastating London and its surrounding cities, forcing universities to shut their doors and send students home, a twenty-three-year-old at Trinity College at the University of Cambridge fled to his small village fifty miles away. Just as in the early months of our COVID-19 pandemic, young students were forced by unfortunate circumstances to pause their lives and enter a state of lockdown.

But rather than wallow away while isolation, this particular bright young man ran with the forced constraint and spent the year in a perpetual state of creative and intellectual flow. Despite the absence of formal educational requirements, he immersed himself in his books, studies, and experiments, pursuing his curiosities with intense focus and fervor.

During the single year of his confinement, the young student made groundbreaking discoveries in fields across science and mathematics, among them:

 ·      Developing the initial principles of calculus

·      Formulating the law of universal gravitation

·      Defining the three fundamental laws of motion

·      Laying the foundation for the behavior of light

·      Designing a reflective telescope

The young student was Isaac Newton, and the year 1666 became known as his annus mirabilis (Latin for “miracle year”), a nod to the breadth and depth of his output over such a short period. In a single year, he produced the output of several incredible lifetimes.

We don’t all need to focus our time on groundbreaking theories that will alter humanity, we just need a sustained presence in things that matter to us. Time blocking is a modern behavior strategy touted by many athletes, artists, businesspeople, researchers, and scholars as a way to establish a routine for uninterrupted deep work. When giving important tasks our undivided attention, we’re able to produce more in shorter amounts of time, essentially bending time in our favor, a concept that goes all the way back to the ancient Greeks and beyond.

Time is only one of the five types of wealth that can enhance our lives. Bloom offers additional anecdotes and research to support a more deliberate approach to improve the other areas as well. To find out more on building emotional, mental, physical, and financial wealth, find Bloom anywhere on social media these days. He’s had a great run on numerous popular podcasts as of late and offers his insights in a weekly newsletter The Curiosity Chronicle.

Building wealth for tomorrow comes from prioritizing desired behaviors today.

 

 

Rent vs Buy: By the Numbers

Rent vs Buy has become a hot topic as of late. With home prices still rising, interest rates remaining the same, the uncertain effects of tariffs on inflation, and the demand for homes higher than supply in most parts of the Greater Philadelphia area, many potential homebuyers are faced with the difficult decision of whether to buy or rent. A previous post highlighted the pros and cons to each, with money, time, emotional and physical wellbeing all important factors. Sometimes, it’s easier to see the numbers, so potential homebuyers can make the best decision.

(Disclaimer: Many articles and websites, including ones referenced, compare monthly rentals and sales to a period beginning around 2021, which was historically the largest spike in home sales and rentals in our lifetime due to a Covid market freeze followed by extremely low interest rates to stimulate growth. So the year-to-year numbers going back to 2021 will show dramatic declines in monthly rental payments and inclines in monthly mortgage payments, which fuels the spicy “generation of doomed homebuyers” narrative. There is a clear and obvious short-term financial advantage to renting in our area. The goal of this post is to provide information on the buy-rent gap, so anyone interested in real estate can make informed decisions.)

The sample properties compared throughout this article are 3 bedroom, 1.5 to 2.5 bath townhomes. Considered a starter home for most first-time buyers, a merging property for couples or friends, or a downsize option for empty nesters, these properties have been selected for their uniformity across a wide number of areas. The neighborhoods selected are located in Bucks and Montgomery Counties, where as detailed in another post about current local trends, home prices continue to go up in specific markets.

* The properties selected represent the number of homes rented with the specific comparable features (3 beds, 1-2.5 baths) within the past 180 days (unless noted). The total number of rentals closed is higher in every market.

Source: Bright MLS as of August 2025

* The properties selected represent the number of homes rented with the specific comparable features (3 beds, 1-2.5 baths) within the past 180 days. The total number of homes closed is higher in every market.

 # The monthly payment uses a 30-year fixed, 6.5% interest rate, 3.5% down payment, and $1,800 per year in Homeowner’s insurance. The payment also reflects annual taxes, mortgage insurance, and HOA (if applicable) for the specific neighborhood.

 Source: Bright MLS. Calculations from Fannie Mae

Referencing the two tables above, it’s clear that renting is cheaper than buying in each of the highlighted neighborhoods. This is a trend found in most markets around the country and with the exception of post-economic breakdowns, is typical in the rent vs buy conversation. However, most buyers want to know the differences in how each decision impacts their finances. Of the six neighborhoods, the average difference between renting and buying is $1,099 per month. Newtown Grant has the largest gap in monthly mortgage payment vs rent at $1,887 per month, a 48.5% swing. Wynmere Hunt has the smallest difference at $724 per month, or 24%.

According to Bankrate, in February, the national average per monthly mortgage payments was $2,768 versus $2,000 a month in rent, which equals a difference of $768 or 32.2%. Carriage Hill (30.9%), Village Shires (31%), and Windrush (31.5%) all fall within 2% of the national average while Saw Milly Valley (26.2%) remains below the national average. That’s two neighborhoods in Horsham Township where the gap between buying and renting is well below the national average. These neighborhoods are still well above the $1,590 per month average for Pennsylvania properties according Zillow, which shouldn’t be surprising.

Jiayi Xu and Danielle Hale, in an article for realtor.com, posted an update on the largest metro markets across the country that shows the buy-rent gap declining for 0-2 bedroom homes from this time last year. “In June 2025, the average monthly cost of buying a starter home in the top 50 metros was $908 (53.1%) higher than renting, whereas the cost of buying was $956 (54.7%) higher than renting in June 2024.”

Pittsburgh was the only metro area out of 50 where buying a starter home was more affordable than renting, but in the Philadelphia-Camden-Wilmington metro homes averaged $1,770 a month to rent vs $2,395 a month to buy, a difference of $625, or 35.3%. The article also claims the cost to rent has gone down 2.4% while the cost to buy has gone down 2.7%. However, this is one of the reasons why researching local markets becomes necessary because throughout the Philadelphia metro area, there are neighborhoods where the buy-rent gap is higher than the state and national averages and others where the gap is lower.

One of the main financial reasons why individuals buy a home instead of renting is because ownership helps build equity, which improves an owner’s financial power over time. One of the drawbacks to obtaining a mortgage is the amount of interest paid to a lender for borrowing the money to purchase. A potential buyer needs to give to receive, and when it comes to home ownership, each individual must weigh the overall costs of ownership. The total interest paid over time to build equity is very high, in the hundreds of thousands for each of the highlighted properties. The incremental shift of more money that goes towards principal and less toward interest each month, known as amortization, is a scale of numbers we don’t often look at when viewing our loan statements, but it is very real. 

* The monthly payment uses a 30-year mortgage with a fixed 6.5% interest rate and $1,800 per year in Homeowner’s insurance. The payment also reflects annual taxes, mortgage insurance, and HOA (if applicable) for the specific neighborhood.

 # Not including fluctuations in equity due to market changes and/or a reduction in mortgage insurance after reaching 80% of the property’s loan-to-value.

 Source: Bright MLS August 2025 and Bankrate

Equity represents one of the biggest differences between buying vs renting over time. Using the above examples, a buyer would build an average of $84,035 in equity in the highlighted neighborhoods after 10 years with 3.5% down and $148,836 in equity for 20% down. These numbers can change depending on the type of loan (conventional, FHA, VA), term of the loan (15-year vs 30-year, fixed vs arm), percentage down, and the time it takes to reach a loan-to-value percentage, usually 80%, when private mortgage insurance is no longer necessary. The numbers also change when the value of the home rises or falls, though more likely to rise in our current economy, and equity will increase at a greater rate as the loan reaches the end of its term.

During that same 10-year period, the renter will have attained $0 in equity.

No matter the decision, buying or renting has to make sense for the potential homebuyer, who must weigh the short-term and long-term pros and cons to make either dream scenario a reality. Experienced agents are available to help make either decision happen.

Feel free to contact me if you’re considering one or the other and would like a detailed analysis of your search area.

Leaving Everything on the Field

As a young soccer player, one of the phrases embedded in my mind was “Leave everything on the field.”

It wasn’t my best effort unless I crossed the lines winded, burning, and cramping, Most coaches instill a similar mantra in their players to express the value of hard work.

Early in my professional journey, I was fortunate enough to work with some experienced professionals at the twilight of their careers. When they retired, most had grand plans to travel the world and do the things they never had time to do. But when I'd see them again, those plans were still on hold. This shaped my thinking about time-money-life experiences ever since.

In his book, Die With Zero, author Bill Perkins asks the reader to re-think our idea of saving for our post-retirement lives.

Perkins quotes a 2018 study from the Employee Benefit Research Institute that claims for retirees in their sixties to nineties, the median household spending to household income hovers around 1:1. He goes on to cite that retirees who had $500,000 or more right before retirement had spent a median of 11.8% of that money 20 years later or by the time they died. Despite having smaller margins, retirees with less than $200,000 saved for retirement had spent only one-quarter of their assets. Retirees on pensions spent only 4% during the first 18 years after retirement. Even with their limited spending, one-third of retirees increased their assets after retirement.

The point Perkins is trying to make is that we tend to over save and under spend in our retirement years, leaving the remaining balance to our family, favorite charities, or the government if we haven’t prepared.

The idea isn’t to promote reckless spending but to reconsider what we’re preparing for in the later years of our lives.

Eventually, this leads us to time.

We spend much of our adult lives understanding what our time is worth, but once we fully maximize the monetary value of our time, we have less physical capacity to enjoy it. So instead of retiring with visions of experiencing life to its fullest, most of us end up remaining in our worn paths, riding out our days, and never doing the things we’ve always wanted to do. We essentially die with a massive savings of time we never withdraw. All that time spent working and building leads to a treasure of unused experiences.

Perkins asks, why aren’t we leaving it all on the field?

We’re all familiar with the expression “Time is Money.”

What about “Time is Experience?”

How can we build experiential wealth that compounds over time?

At the end of the movie Shawshank Redemption, the narrator Red famously says, “Either get busy living or get busy dying.” Unfortunately, most of us spend our lives preparing to die while forgetting to prepare to live.

Referencing the graphic from the book, when we’re young, pre-marriage, pre-kids, we have ample amounts of time but no money. As we age and become more committed to our family, work, or community, we build wealth but lose time. All the while, our physical health remains strong while we work, provide, and save, until eventually we start to lose the capability to experience all we’ve been saving for.

Think of all the important meetings, double-shifts, overtimes, next projects, next tournaments—the priorities that replace the wealth of experiences we put off for a later date that never materialize.

What family vacation are you waiting for because “it’s not the right time?” Or because of a very important work commitment. Or because there’s a great opportunity to guest play in a big tournament for the special team.

Perkins isn’t advocating for no financial planning or succumbing to massive crippling debts. Dying with zero shouldn’t mean going broke in your 70s (even though we have a system in place that prevents that from happening, for now). He’s not saying don’t give money to family or charity, though he does recommend giving it while we are alive and can experience the full impact. He is suggesting to maximize the wealth of life experiences while we still can. Dying with zero means planning for a lifetime of experiences and financial contributions so we aren’t left with regrets.

Dying with zero means leaving everything on the field.


Books of the Month: The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin and The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

When I first got serious about writing over fifteen years ago, I dealt with imposter syndrome. I remember walking into my first creative writing workshop, wondering how long it would take for the other writers in the room to figure me out. Many of the literary references went over my head. When the professor made a Vonnegut joke, I was the only one who didn’t laugh. In my mind, I was a soccer player though my body had its objections.

What I learned then and what I know now is it doesn’t matter where you start.

For every Tiger Woods, there is a Scottie Sheffler. For every LeBron James, there is a Steph Curry. For every Lamine Yamal, there is a Didier Drogba, Jamie Vardy, or Clint Dempsey.

When comes to artistic pursuits, many people hold the belief that people are either creative or they’re not. Great athletes, musicians, and writers are labeled prodigies without recognition for practicing religiously at an early age.

S.E. Hinton started writing The Outsiders when she was 15 years-old.

Mary Shelley published Frankenstein when she was 20 years-old.

Stephen Crane published Red Badge of Courage when he was 24.

But, on the flip side:

Toni Morrison was 40 when she published The Bluest Eye.

Mark Twain was 41 when he published Tom Sawyer.

Raymond Chandler, 51, Annie Proulx, 57, and Frank McCourt, 66, all published debit works well into their adult lives.

Rick Rubin and Steven Pressfield are successful creatives who dismiss the notion that people are born great. They even go as far to say that everyone is born with creativity and has potential to produce art. They believe the difference is tapping into artistic frequencies and spending the time to do the work.

Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act: A Way of Being and Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art have had a tremendous impact on my creativity over the past five years. As someone who delves often into self-help and craft writing books, I find their work transcends art, providing sound direction for living with purpose and gratitude.

Some of you may be familiar with Rubin already. If not, you’re certainly familiar with his work. King of Rock, Licensed to Ill, Danzig, Dice, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, and Wildflowers are just a small sample from the dozens of albums he produced from the 80s and 90s. As co-founder of Def Jam Recordings, Rubin helped bring rap and hip-hop into the mainstream, but over the past forty years, he’s collaborated with some of the greatest recording artists of all time across a wide number of genres, including Public Enemy, Johnny Cash, Jay Z, Slayer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Chicks, and Adele, the latter two who won Album of the Year at the Grammys.

The Creative Act is a compilation of thoughts about the creative process that reads similar to Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. His primary concept is receiving what he calls Source, a creative inspiration that can be found all around us and tapped into at any time. Rubin’s a strong proponent for living in the present and often considers himself a supporter for artists finding the work they were meant to produce. He writes about how the goal of creative work is to produce the best an artist can while in the moment, without deadlines, external pressures, or outsider opinions. He believes artists should create for themselves and nothing else because not even the gatekeepers, himself included, can predict how the finished product will be received. The only thing the artist controls is the work itself.

In the following passage, Rubin describes the origins of a creative endeavor.

In the first phase of the creative process, we are to be completely open, collecting anything we find of interest.

We call this the Seed phase. We’re searching for potential starting points that, with love and care, can grow into something beautiful. At this stage, we are not comparing them to the best seed. We simply gather them.

A seed for a song can be a phrase, a melody, a bass line, or a rhythmic feel.

For a written piece, it may be a sentence, a character sketch, a setting, a thesis, or a plot point.

For a structure, a shape, a material choice, a function, or the natural properties of a location.

And for a business, it could be a common inconvenience, a societal need, a technical advancement, or a personal interest.

Collecting seeds typically doesn’t involve a tremendous amount of effort. It’s more a receiving of a transmission. A noticing.

As if catching fish, we walk to the water, bait the hook, cast the line, and patiently wait. We cannot control the fish, only the presence of our line.

While Rubin has been a household name since the early 1980s, Pressfield spent much of his early artistic life under the radar. A former copywriter and self-proclaimed B level screenwriter, Pressfield’s writer’s journey had been largely derailed by something he calls Resistance. For Pressfield, Resistance represents a combination of self-doubt, self-distraction, and self-sabotage that prevents an artist or anyone with a specific goal from staying focused.

In the passage below, he compares the fight between the creative Muse and Resistance as a daily battle in the endless war of completion.

Resistance is like the Alien or the Terminator or the shark in Jaws. It cannot be reasoned with. It understands nothing but power. It is an engine of destruction, programmed from a factory with one object only: to prevent us from doing our work. Resistance is implacable, intractable, indefatigable. Reduce it to a single cell and that cell will continue to attack.

This is Resistance’s nature. It’s all it knows.

Known for his historical fiction, Pressfield found acclaim with his novel The Legend of Bagger Vance, which became a movie (though he admits, not a good one) directed by Robert Redford and featuring Hollywood stars Will Smith, Matt Damon, and Charlize Theron. His book Gates of Fire, about the Battle of Thermopylae, is taught to students at West Point. War of Art, which came after he’d managed his own personal battles with Resistance, propelled Pressfield to widespread notoriety and continues to rank as one of the top craft books for aspiring and seasoned artists.  

What makes Pressfield so unique is his ability to break down the mysterious elements of creativity and creation into industrial terms, overcoming Resistance, turning professional, and welcoming the Muse. In one of my favorite podcast episodes, Rubin features Pressfield on Tetragrammaton (November 29th, 2024), and the pair discuss many of the concepts found in their books, among them their views on talent, critics, inspiration, blocks, and abundance. Their own artistic journeys prove how regular people can unlock creativity by tuning into sources and overcoming the forces that prevent us from reaching our goals. Both authors also appear on Brian Koppelman’s The Moment, my go-to podcast for creative inspiration.

Whether the goal is finding inspiration or fighting resistance, The Creative Act and The War of Art reveal a normalized view of how artists can create personally satisfying works by building a receptive mindset and focusing on simple, every day actions.

 

 

 

 

Rent vs Buy: How to Choose

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I recently read a post on social media about the demise of our country due to rising home prices. The author of the post referenced an article (among many) that compares the market statistics from 2021 to now as evidence that most Americans will never afford a home.

Yes, new homeowners are currently paying more per month than renters, at higher than normal rates, across the country and certainly in the Philadelphia region, but let’s pump the brakes on saying future buyers are doomed. Outside of the aftermath of major U.S. financial collapses (Remember Covid?), traditionally it’s always been cheaper to rent. The question of rent versus buy is valid for many potential homebuyers, but there are numerous factors to consider which option is best.

Owning a home is an investment. Anyone who takes their hard-earned money, in some cases most of it, and puts it into a physical structure they hope will increase in value over time is taking a chance. A homeowner has to consider income, debts, financing options, taxes, how much money they’ll need to update or maintain the property, and somehow try to balance that with living expenses, emergencies and/or hardships, and inflation. Ownership can be costly, and pushing ratios too high can lead to a less than desirable lifestyle.

Money is not the only investment in home ownership. A homeowner is also investing time. Homes need regular maintenance, everything from keeping up with the yard to fixing leaks, painting a room, changing light fixtures, or updating a bathroom. The projects that can be done in a few hours or over several weekends mean less time with family or for meaningful activities.

There’s also the stress of owning a home. Ever wake up in the middle of the night to hurricane-force rain and hope the sump pump is still working? Ever spend Christmas morning bailing out that said sump pump because of a power outage with no backup generator (another cost). Ever search lawn mower repair videos for hours on YouTube because a new one isn’t in the budget? Ever pray to your god for the heating system to make it through one more winter?

These are real homeowner stressors.

But homeownership also has its joys. Eating Thanksgiving dinner at your table. Roasting marshmallows and s’mores over a fire in your backyard. Waking up in your bed looking at your ceiling, your walls, looking out your windows at the accumulating snow on your driveway. Grabbing a beer out of your fridge and sitting down to watch a game in your living room. Ownership brings a sense of satisfaction in knowing some of the money you give to a mortgage lender is building your investment into your property, increasing your financial wealth.

These are things renters don’t get to enjoy at the same level.

I’m not making a stance one way or the other. Everyone has different situations and needs to weigh a number of factors together to form a very important financial decision. I’ve been having more of these conversations lately about renting versus buying, and laying out the pros and cons for each can help anyone find the best path.

Many potential homebuyers have been watching the market and interest rates, waiting for the return of those once-in-a-lifetime 2-3% rates. They may be waiting for a while. In fact, many of our parents and grandparents would be thrilled with the current rate. When my parents bought their first home in the late 1970s, their rate was near 18%. Most experts predict rates to remain near mid-to-upper-6% in the foreseeable future. Renters don’t need to worry about interest rates.

Renting also has a fixed cost as opposed to the rising expenses owners face for insurance, school and real estate taxes, home maintenance, and utilities. Typically, affordability allows a renter to save, eventually building enough cash for a down payment and closing costs when it’s time to buy.

Many potential renters may feel it’s easier to secure a lease agreement in a desired neighborhood or a multi-unit property, however, in recent years, throughout Bucks, Montgomery, Delaware, and Chester counties, the rental market has been as competitive or even more fierce than the residential sale side. In some areas, rent has jumped hundreds of dollars a month this year alone, forcing renters to consider properties outside of their desired areas. Frustrated buyers may dabble in the rental market for relief only to compete with close to a dozen other potential buyers for a property with a rent already near the top of their budget.

Because the market is flooded with renters who are being outbid in residential sales, many landlords can charge higher rents that more than cover their own mortgage, insurance, and taxes. Many rental agreements require the tenant to cover basic utilities and simple maintenance (lawn care, snow removal, lightbulbs, batteries), which can be hidden expenses that add up over time. Individuals going through the rent vs buy scenario should also remember that money from rent essentially pays the owner’s mortgage, so they can be the ones establishing equity and long-term wealth.

There are opportunities available without making a massive jump in monthly costs. A client of mine who was paying hundreds more a month in rent is about to close on a condo larger in square feet and with a monthly payment within $250 a month of their rent. Another client who briefly entered the rental market immediately experienced the competition of limited supply and high demand, which included close comparisons of credit scores, income ratios, and background checks for each application, adding another $40-$80 a pop. One prospective property’s rent went up $300 a month days after going on the market once the owner realized the demand. Renters have less control to compete on price and terms as in a residential sale. In addition, rentals often require a security deposit, first, and last month’s rent upfront, which can be almost a third to a half of what a buyer would need to bring to a settlement on a comparable home anyway.

Many potential renters are hesitant to jump into the real estate market because they feel they don’t have enough for a down payment or because big-name influencers preach the dangers of any borrowing whatsoever. Buyers don’t need a sizeable down payment to pursue their dream of purchasing a home. There are many financing options available. Over the past two years, more than 70% of buyers financed their homes, among them more than 90% of first-time homebuyers who used financing. I’ve written about the topic of mortgage professionals and multiple articles for buyers in previous posts.

Potential homebuyers facing the rent versus buy scenario will ultimately decide what’s best for themselves. It takes preparation and strategy that’s for sure. This is coming from a guy who had two roommates after purchasing his first home. Many of my family and friends were successful using a similar strategy. That was when the previous buyers were doomed after the mortgage collapse of 2008.

Next week, we’ll look at the market numbers of the rent vs buy discussion.

 

Inspection Contingencies and Timelines

In the movie Tommy Boy, Big Tom Callaghan makes a famous joke to a client when he says, “I can get a hell of a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking my head up a bull’s (you know where), but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.”

When it comes to homes, a potential buyer will want to stick their head everywhere possible and within the acceptable parameters of an Agreement of Sale. Most real estate agents, including this one, will recommend a potential buyer get a home inspection prior to moving into a home, but whether or not the home inspection is part of the transaction is a separate discussion.

Home inspections can be a major part of the buying process. During the immediate aftermath of the Covid shutdown, which affected many local real estate markets, buyers competed by offering well over asking price with many waived contingencies, aided by rates from low 4% to mid 5%. I was a buyer during that Wild West period as well. Had I missed on the home I eventually purchased, I may still be looking.

Those times have eased up considerably, and although home inspections are still a common negotiating tool, waiving them is not the knee-jerk reaction it once was, and in most transactions to date, they’re standard operating procedure. If the buyer plans on triggering the home inspection contingency in an offer, both buyers and sellers can benefit from knowing what that entails in the Pennsylvania Agreement of Sale.

Much like in previous posts on Mortgage Contingencies and Sale Contingencies, a Home Inspection Contingency follows a specific process if a buyer would like the agreement to be contingent on the results of specific inspections before moving forward. This means the buyer is doing their due diligence in making sure the property is as advertised. It also means the seller is held accountable for any issues not accounted for in a Seller’s Disclosure.

(Note: A Seller’s Disclosure, separate from an Agreement of Sale, is a legally required document in Pennsylvania that must be completed by a seller, highlighting any known issues /updates of the property for sale. It’s understood the buyer is viewing the property with these disclosed issues reflected in the sale price. This doesn’t necessarily mean the property is being sold “As Is” but means the seller is disclosing known facts about the property during the period of ownership. Sellers can be held liable for known undisclosed defects, even after an agreement of sale is executed, which is a separate issue from anything found through any number of inspections).

In an Agreement of Sale, a buyer has the option of electing or waiving a number of different inspections, with the most common being Home/Property and Environmental Hazards, Wood Infestation, Radon, Water Service and On-lot Sewage (if serviced by private systems). Other inspections may include Deeds, Restrictions, and Zoning, Property and Flood Insurance, Property Boundaries, and Lead-Based Paint Hazards (If the property is built prior to 1978, also separate from a Lead-Based Paint Disclosure).

During the time between acceptance and settlement, a seller must allow any representative, whether an inspector for a buyer, an insurance company, mortgage lender, or municipal official, to enter the property to complete this inspection. Parties and their agent may attend these inspections.

If any of the inspections are elected, what follows is a clear-cut process that could alter the execution or the terms of the transaction.

Inspection Period

If activating an inspection contingency, a buyer has a specific number of days (typically 10) to inspect the property through a certified home inspector. Following the results of the inspection, the buyer then has three options for action within that time frame:

 1)   Accept the property and proceed with the transaction.

2)    Present the reports to seller and terminate the agreement, with all deposit monies returned.

3)    Present the reports to seller along with a written reply for any corrections and/or credits as a result of the findings.

Negotiation Period and Response Period

After the 10-day inspection period ends, the buyer and seller enter into a 5-day negotiation period during which the seller can:

 1)   Agree to the proposal and satisfy all terms.

2)    Negotiate the terms of corrections and/or credits at settlement.

If the buyer and seller reach an agreement, the transaction continues with the new terms, however, if no agreement is reached or if the seller fails to respond to the buyer’s reply to inspections after an additional 2 days have passed, the buyer has the option to either accept the property or terminate the agreement.

If no agreement is reached, and the buyer fails to terminate via written notice before the 2-day period ends, the buyer will agree to all terms and accept the property.

On-lot Sewage

On-lot sewage inspections are a lot more involved, so if the buyer is requesting corrections to an on-lot sewage system, the seller has up to 25 days (or less if specified) to respond. In that response, the seller can include the name of the company, payment provisions, retests, and a completion date for the expected corrections. Within 5 days after receiving the seller’s proposal, or if no proposal is given, the buyer will be able to:

1)    Agree to terms and accept the property.

2)    Terminate the agreement.

3)    Accept the property and agree to the existing system, making all repairs and corrections at their own expense.

Both parties should be made aware that if the seller denies permission and/or access to the property to correct the defects, the buyer may within 5 days after the denial, terminate the agreement. If the buyer fails to respond to the seller’s proposal within 5 days, they will accept the property and proceed with the sale.

Contract Dates

Because an inspection contingency, as well as other parts of an agreement, relies on specific dates, both buyers and sellers need an accurate timeline from the execution of the contract to the settlement date to account for all these fluid pieces. Any time period for an agreement of sale begins on the first day following the acceptance date, including weekends and holidays. Contracts follow calendar days not business days. The only important date that cannot be a weekend or holiday is the final settlement date. For this reason, a clear timeline that includes all necessary dates makes for seamless communication from acceptance to execution.

As we enter into more balanced markets across the region, home inspection contingencies will play major role in most contracts for the foreseeable future. Both buyers and sellers can benefit from understanding the timelines to avoid any disruptions in the process. Like little Tom Callaghan at the end of the aforementioned movie, they don’t want to be stuck on a dingy in the middle of a lake praying for wind.

 

Lessons From Painting and Soccer Camp

Within the past ten days, I’ve removed and refinished a popcorn ceiling, helped touch up over two dozen multi-bedroom apartments, and coached at a soccer camp.

I’ve gone to bed tired.

Painting is one of those projects I enjoy because it involves kinesthetic skillsets that can be done by most DIYers at an acceptable level, but it does require patience and practice. One can’t just slap paint on the wall and expect it to look professional.

The same can be said for learning how to play soccer.

I’ve made a number of connections from painting that that can be applied to everyday coaching. Here are three that stood out the most.

Follow the Proven Steps

Many years ago, when I first painted my townhouse, I skipped some of the prep work to save time and effort. When I finished, the walls came out fine. But day-by-day, especially in the natural light, I began to see all my mistakes: repaired holes that weren’t smoothed correctly, spots where I forgot to prime, cracks that re-appeared.

Professional painters will say that preparation is two-thirds of any project. Quality paint will never cover up surface mistakes. Whether painting walls or ceilings, interior or exterior, painters follow a process. They prepare the room by removing furniture, treatments, and ceiling fixtures. If necessary, they tape to protect surfaces. They take the time to repair holes and old bumps, learn to apply compound or spackle in layers and feather edges to avoid unnatural lines, and prime re-worked areas for better paint adhesion. They smooth out old paint globs, fix nail pops, reinforce worn seams, and clean up the dust. Painters then might repeat those steps before painting. They may take a day or two to get the surface ready, but it will only enhance the finished look.

Young soccer players are gamers. They want to show up on game day and score goals and make tackles and talk trash and win. But they can’t spin a defender and bury a volley into the upper-ninety if they don’t know how to receive a pass. For some young players, preparation might even begin with remembering to bring the soccer ball to practice.

When kids go to watch their favorite players, they see a finished product. What they don’t see is all the years of preparation it took for that player to grow. Many established players likely needed to learn how to practice like they want to play. That meant building training routines and skills on their own, implementing practice strategies into games, watching film, accepting feedback, learning from failures, and developing a winning mindset. As coaches, it’s our job to show them the process.

All of this takes time and effort. If we want a paint project to look clean and welcoming or we want to develop better soccer players, we can’t skip steps.

Prepare for the Mess

People often dislike painting because it tends to get a little messy. We can all picture the professional painter in their white shirt or coveralls, paint splatters all over like an exploding rainbow. Removing a popcorn ceiling is a complete mess.

A good sanding session leaves me covered in dust. Even with goggles and a mask, the dust makes its way into my eyes, nose, and throat. Particles float through the air, cling to walls, windows, blinds, or treatments that weren’t removed, and land in places I never thought it would have reached. After painting ceilings, my hat and face are still covered in spots. The body responds to all these movements, too. Muscles in the shoulders burn, back muscles stiffen, and days later I still feel the squats, ladder steppers, and bear crawls.

It’s sometimes difficult to teach young players the value of getting dirty. That doesn’t mean players need to develop a mentality where they’re flying in studs up or diving through mud for headers out of reach. It just means that they haven’t yet fully developed grit. Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit, describes her popularized term as passion and perseverance for long-term goals. She goes on to claim that grit isn’t about talent, luck, or how intensely you want something.

Throughout her research, Duckworth has found that the most successful people in any sport, business, or creative endeavor have the ability to outlast their challenges by embracing the mess. They develop an enjoyment for obstacles. They don’t lose focus when they’re covered in dust.

Painting and coaching soccer can be a mess from the start, but making a mess means we’re learning.

Mistakes Can be Fixed

One of the beauties of painting, and one of the reasons why most DIYers feel confident in starting a new project, is that they can fix mistakes. We expect flaws in our performance. We’ll miss spots to prep, we may paint over an edge, we may kick over the uncovered paint can all over the unprotected hardwood floor, or we may even finish the job only to realize we don’t like the color anymore.

Mistakes are a part of any painting project, but all mistakes can be fixed. The micro mistakes may add hours to a project, the macros may add days (and money), but each time we learn then apply that knowledge down the line. No matter how many people we ask or how many You Tube videos we watch, sometimes we have to experience the mistakes firsthand to grow.

A fear of failure is one of the worst traits a coach can instill in his players, yet this is one of the most common characteristics I’ve observed in my twenty-five plus years of teaching and coaching. Too many young players are hesitant to try new skills or strategies because they feel uncomfortable or because they’re worried about how it will affect the outcome of a game. It’s unfortunate many youth models are predicated on winning instead of learning because while we may believe we’re developing winners, we’re also developing the negative association with mistakes.

Along with fun and grit, developing a growth mindset in our players is one of the most-important characteristics we can teach. Soccer is a metaphor for life, and as coaches, we must remember we’re not teaching soccer players, we’re teaching kids. Most of our players aren’t going pro in soccer but will turn pro in something else. Life provides many losses, but it will reward those who develop a growth mindset, who push their own boundaries, who accept failures as learning opportunities, and who lose the fear of making mistakes or looking stupid.

Even the best painting projects and soccer players still have minor flaws. If we can develop the idea that some imperfections are expected and move on, we’ll be better prepared to grow.

Finding the Point

When reporters asked Scottie Sheffler, golf’s world number one-ranked player, what winning the 153rd Open Championship at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland would mean to him, he said, “What’s the point?”

Sheffler went on to say, “It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes.”

Sheffler is not your average weekend golfer. He’s not the club pro nor the tour journeyman. In fact, over the past two years he’s actually been the closest to Tiger Woods than any player over the past two decades. Now, at age 29, Sheffler has played in 81 events over the past four years, winning 20 times. He won 4 majors during that span, adding 2 Players Championships, considered by many to be the 5th major, and averaged 2.8 strokes gained (SG) per round.

Tiger Woods, from age 25-29, played in 79 events, winning 18 times. He won 4 majors and also had 2.8 SG per round but never won the Players. Woods, a prodigy who famously burst onto the golf scene after capturing three-straight U.S. National Amateur titles before winning the Masters in 1997 at age 21 by a record 12 strokes, has proven to be the greatest player in the modern game. He often represents the measuring stick for the game’s current stars.

Before age 24, Woods also had a career grand slam, something Sheffler’s actively pursuing with the U.S. Open the only trophy needed to fill his cabinet. If Sheffler does win the U.S. Open, which many believe is more a when, he’ll also be the only career grand slam winner to have an Olympic Gold medal, which he won last year in Paris.

Yet while Woods was highly driven, maybe even obsessive, to exceed Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors, Sheffler is surprisingly not.

“Is it great to be able to win tournaments and to accomplish the things I have in the game of golf? Yeah, I mean, it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it because I’ve literally worked my entire life to become good at the sport and to have that sense of accomplishment is a pretty cool feeling. To get to live out your dreams is very special, but at the end of the day I’m not out here to inspire the next generation of golfers. I’m not here to inspire somebody else to be the best player in the world because what’s the point? Because this is not a fulfilling life. It’s fulfilling from a sense of accomplishment but it’s not fulfilling from a sense of the deepest places of your heart.”

Sheffler is speaking about the arrival fallacy, something sports psychologist Brad Stulberg writes about in his post last week. “Wherever you are, the goalpost is always 10 yards down the field,” Stulberg writes. “If you develop the mindset ‘If I just accomplish ____ THEN I’ll arrive,’ you are in for a rude awakening.”

The arrival fallacy, coined by positive psychologist Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, describes feeling a lack of happiness, accomplishment, or fulfillment when reaching a desired goal. When we’re driven towards a particular accomplishment with the belief that achievement will cure all that ails us, we’re left with dissatisfaction and motivational loss, which can ultimately affect our self-esteem, relationships, and other important aspects in our lives. Sheffler is describing what many psychologists refer to as a healthy way to approach high-attainting goals, by remaining present, re-defining success, and finding joy in the process rather than the outcome. When we’re able to do this, we can overcome the arrival fallacy and focus on what matters most.

Why is all this relevant information and how does it apply to the rest of us? Well, if you’d read these comments before a major tournament without knowing the name attached to them and had to take a stab at where you thought this player would finish, what would you guess?

Top 20? Top 50? Would this player even make the cut?

Sheffler finished one shot back after the first round then scored a week-low 64 on the second day to take the lead. On Saturday, he finished with a 4 under 67 to head into the final day with the lead, something he’s never lost in his previous 9 tournaments when leading after 54 holes. In the final round, his lead reached 7 strokes at one point before eventually winning by 4 to claim his first Open Championship and his second major this season. Sheffler also won the PGA Championship in May.

For an athlete to win a tournament against his peers with such conviction, yet still hold feelings of uncertainty over the outcome is extremely human. Because Sheffler has more important reasons for working so hard at being great at the sport.

“I’m blessed to be able to come out here and play golf, but if my golf ever started affecting my home life or it ever affected the relationship I have with my wife or with my son, you know, that’s going to be the last day I play out here for a living.”

Real Estate Market Updates: June 2025

We’ve reached the midpoint of 2025, and according to most economists the national real estate market is beginning to show signs of balancing. Locally, individual markets are still thriving while a few have slowed, but overall predictions are still largely impacted by the national picture. With interest rates holding steady and the unpredictability of the effects of tariffs, many believe potential volatility is still impacting buyers across the board.

According to NAR Chief Economist Lawrence Yun, existing homes sales went up .8% from April to May 2025 while the year-over sales decreased by .7%.

“The relatively subdued sales are largely due to persistently high mortgage rates,” he said. “Lower interest rates will attract more buyers and sellers to the housing market. Increasing participation in the housing market will increase the mobility of the workforce and drive economic growth.”

The national median home sale price is $422,800, which represents a 1.3% change year-over-year for the month of May. This has decreased every month since December 2024, when the median sale prices were increasing by 5.8%.

According to Forbes Advisor, a buyer purchasing a house at this price, putting 20% down with an interest rate at 6.8% for a 30-year mortgage will pay $2,200 a month. This does not include home insurance, property taxes, and HOA payments, if necessary, which could bring the total closer to $2,800. NAR’s annual report indicates just over 74% of buyers in 2024 financed their home and 50% of homebuyers used a conventional loan. 38% of buyers in 2024 used an FHA or VA loan, so monthly payments could easily exceed $3,000 a month at the above price point for most buyers.

First time home buyers represented 30% of the market in May, down from 31% in May 2024. 17% of sale purchases in May came from investors, up 1% from the same time last year. 27% of all sales were cash transactions, also down 1%, and year-to-year distressed sales rose from 2% to 3% of all transactions. Homes spent an average of 27 days on the market in May, up from 24 days in 2024, representing the gradual shift toward a buyer’s market as supply increases. Many leaders also dispel the rumors by some in the profession that indicate a 2008-type of change and say there are too many economic factors that will prevent a surge of buyers entering the market, overwhelming demand.

Source: Bright MLS

Since the Philadelphia area continues to grow, many local markets have seen changes along the national and state trends while others continue to perform well above, creating unique opportunities for buyers, sellers, and investors.

In Bucks County, Doylestown (3.1%, 16.3%) and Lower Makefield (5.5%, 9%) continue to see a steady increase in sales and median sale prices. Newtown (-4%) and Solebury (-1.6%) had slight decreases in median sale prices and a much higher time on the market with homes staying 55% and 76% longer respectively before transacting. Solebury also had a 21.7% increase in sales from the first half of 2025 compared to the first half of 2024. As a whole, the highlighted markets in Bucks spent more time on the market.

In Montgomery County, Abington had a 3.8% increase in median sale prices and a 22% decrease in time on the market, indicating a positive opportunity for sellers. Upper Moreland had a 12.3% increase in sales, a less than 1% drop in median sale prices, and a 9% drop in days on the market. With an average of 10 days on the market, Upper Moreland represents the fastest-moving of the highlighted markets for the first half of the year.

Compared to national averages, in the highlighted markets, home sales are higher, median sales prices are higher, and the days on market are higher (though some markets trend differently in specific measures), indicating continued growth but a shift toward balance. In Bucks County in particular, the ratio of pending sales to active listings is 1.16, which is well below the 5-year average. This shows there is more inventory county-wide than in previous years.

Taking Time Out to Re-Align

A few months ago, I was admitted into the hospital.

I woke up in the middle of the night to my middle-age bladder calling, took one step and walked into the wall. I bounced off a stack of bins of winter clothes ready to be stored away then hit the door jamb on the way through. I wasn’t drunk. I wasn’t high. I felt as if I were deep-sea fishing, ready to spill my guts over the bow. I spent the night in the hospital, listening to my roommate’s Family Guy obsession. The necessary tests confirmed what I’d always believed. I was healthy. In the end, the doctors narrowed down the symptoms to a few issues, but even months later there’s still no definitive diagnosis. The problem is this wasn’t my first wake-up call, and it wasn’t an isolated event.

That same week, I learned several bits of painful family news, all while trying to maintain focus on end of the school year demands. During my weeks of recovery, I thought a lot about time, how much I waste, and how much is left. I wanted to be more intentional and productive, and in trying to re-evaluate my time, I steered toward the concepts of Ikigai and Dharma.

Time outs are part of every sport and serve a valuable purpose. Coaches need to look at video and revise or reinforce strategies. Fans need to use restrooms or buy more snacks for the kids. Players need physical and mental rest. Often during a time out, coaches analyze a game or situation and communicate the plans of action to players, who restart with a clarified vision and renewed energy.

Most sports have a half-time. Football and basketball have four quarters and a set number of timeouts. Boxing and MMA have a time out every 3 minutes. Golf has a time out after each shot and a longer one at the end of each day. Cricket has a time out for tea.

In life, we don’t have limits on the number of timeouts we get to take or for how long we take them.

When it comes to taking our own time outs, the idea is often mislabeled as an existential crisis, as if turning the lens on ourselves means something is wrong. In fact, most successful people assess their visions and actions on a routine basis. Most successful people know when to take a break to ensure their strategies are working or to recharge their levels of energy and commitment, not just when things begin to fall apart.

Time outs work for athletes, entrepreneurs, creators, artists, students, parents—they work for all of us.

The Japanese have a saying, “If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station; the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.”

I don’t believe I’m on the wrong train. Sometimes, my train feels like it could be riding smoother, and there are moments where I feel stuck. Aligning my actions with my purpose gets me back on track.

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that can help us identify whether or not we’re on the right train. Iki, or life, combined with gai, or value, translates into our life’s value. When we’re immersed in activities that are closest to what we value most, we are more likely to feel fulfilled. That fulfillment keeps us motivated to continue to inspire and help others.

To find our Ikigai, we need to ask ourselves 4 questions:

What do I love?

What am I good at?

What does the world need?

What can I can be paid for?

The intersection of what you love and what you are good at is your passion.

The intersection of what you love and what the world needs is your mission.

The intersection of what you’re good at and what the world needs is your profession.

The intersection of what the world needs and what you can be paid for is your vocation.

In the center is Ikigai.

Dharma is a similar concept in many Eastern religions, notably Hinduism and Buddhism. Though it has multiple meanings, Dharma is often connected to following one’s path or purpose in life. Ikigai and Dharma share many circles, but Dharma has two slightly different intersections, Varna and Seva, that may make it easier to find our center.

Varna is the intersection of skills and passions. Talent arises from the motivation to improve. This may be through sport, music, art, hobbies, or any career. We enjoy something therefore we continue to strive for success. In my younger days, my Varna was soccer. I never needed help getting out of bed to train, and the night before most game days, it was hard to sleep because I was so excited. It’s still a part of my life but has evolved in different forms.

Seva is the intersection of compassion and usefulness, knowing what we’re good at and how we can help others. Service is the key. For much of my adult life, I’ve helped children improve their health and wellness. Now, I also help families in their life transitions. By recognizing that we are important and that our knowledge and skills can make a difference in someone else’s life can be more powerful than any of the other intersections. This image below comes from Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty, a popular podcaster, author, and well-established guru of finding your purpose.

From Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty

Many of us may not have much difficulty finding our Ikigai or Dharma. Some have had more practice moving towards their center. It’s likely we’re not talking about radical life changes and transformations but small incremental adjustments, the 1% often mentioned in popular books and podcasts. But some of us may be searching deeper, searching for the right train, and that’s okay.

Whether using Ikigai, Dharma, or another preferred symbol or metaphor, taking the time to re-align can lead us to staying longer on the right train, though we may never be able to find the perfect career where we do what we love, make a ton of money, and save the world in the process. Our parents and grandparents may not have had the opportunities to love their work. Some of us may feel the same way. We have kids to feed, a mortgage to pay, meetings upon meetings to attend, rising tuition, health care, and insurance.

My maternal grandfather used to make stained glass and fish. My maternal grandmother played golf and tennis. My great-grandmother painted. My paternal grandfather sang. My paternal grandmother baked. My mom made mosaic tiles and taught water aerobics. My dad fixes up cars and boats and builds remote control planes. My brother coaches soccer. My sister travels to festivals and concerts overseas.

I write.

We all have Varnas, and there’s a good chance we’ve been living it for a long time. However, for many different reasons we feel off. We get stuck. Life happens. There are times where I don’t feel effective. I lose motivation. I fall out of my routines. My time blocks cave in. I focus too much on the wrong things. I get down on myself. Once in a while, my life feels a bit like this:

 

Taking the time to re-assess and rediscover our Ikigai and Dharma only ensures we are moving forward in the life we want to live. Because the clock is ticking. Shouldn’t we be the conductors of our own train?

Go out into the woods. Sit on that beach chair. Open that book. Take a day off. Book that tee time. Plan that trip. Disappear in nature. Meditate. Journal. Schedule that class. Call a friend. Sleep. Binge watch.

Whatever you do, follow your purpose.

 

Navigating Home Sale Contingencies

You found your perfect home.

The kitchen is immaculate. No more bunk beds. The backyard has a pristine pitch awaiting future knee slides. There’s enough space for everyone to retreat into other rooms while you finish your book in silence. You can’t wait to put in the offer and enjoy your new oasis.

You remember you also have to sell your home. The stress returns. The panic elevates. You’re not sure how much longer you can share one sink. Every room looks like the kids’ play room. The workshop has taken over the backyard.

Unless you’re a cash buyer and gassing up the Porsche for a weekend in Avalon, you may need to sell your own home in order to take that next step. This may require a home sale contingency. Although removing all contingencies would be the best way to present the strongest offer to a seller, a buyer’s home sale contingency is not a deal breaker. Yet knowing the options and the process can help any buyer get through a double move with more ease.

A Home Sale Contingency is a stipulation in an Agreement of Sale, via an addendum, that describes how a buyer’s ability to execute a transaction is affected by the sale of their own home. The most likely scenario for a home sale contingency is that the buyer will be using proceeds from the sale of their home to purchase the new home, but the buyer may also be avoiding the possession of two mortgages or a homeless transitional period.

Pennsylvania has clear options for how a buyer can present this contingency to a seller, and each one is meant to lessen the contingency, influencing the execution of the agreement by providing more control to the seller. Let’s walk through the different scenarios:

Option 1: Settlement of Other Property Contingency

This contingency is the least restrictive for the buyer and is used when the buyer already has an agreement in place for the sale of their home. The buyer will provide a copy of the agreement to the seller. If prior to settlement, the buyer’s settlement date is changed or the agreement is terminated, the seller has the option of terminating the agreement or extending the settlement date to allow the buyer more time to secure a new agreement. The seller must also adhere to the language in this contingency for termination as opposed to the Mortgage Contingency, which was featured in another post, because the buyer has already expressed the purchase is contingent on the sale of their home to acquire a mortgage. If a deal is terminated, the buyer is entitled to the return of all deposit money.

Option 2: Sale and Settlement of Other Property Contingency

The Sale and Settlement of Other Property Contingency represents the second least restrictive home sale contingency for a buyer putting an offer on a new home. This contingency is used when the buyer’s property is ready to sell but not currently on the market. As per this agreement, the buyer will put their home on the market within a specified number of days, usually 2, and notify the seller when an agreement has been reached.

What happens next depends on the seller’s confidence in the sale of the buyer’s home as it affects the buyer’s ability to make good on their agreement as well. The seller can accept or reject the agreement of sale on the buyer’s property, during which the buyer then has 24-hours or more, depending on the agreement, to either remove the contingency and prove the sale can continue without it or present a renegotiated agreement of sale to which the seller can agree or reject. The seller has control over whether they’d like to continue with the deal or terminate.

The seller may terminate the agreement if the buyer does not have an agreement on their home in place by a specified date. Throughout these negotiation periods, if a seller fails to respond during a set time period, they accept the agreement as is and the transaction resumes. The language for termination supersedes the mortgage contingency, and the buyer is entitled to the return of deposit money.

Option 3: Sale and Settlement of Other Property Contingency With Right to Market and Timed Kickout Clause

Much like the prior contingency, the buyer must list and have an agreement in place on their property, by a specified time, and have the agreement approved by the seller in order to proceed. However, in this contingency, the seller may continue to market their property. If a buyer receives an agreement, they will notify the seller, who can accept or reject the agreement. If rejected, the buyer can remove the contingency with proof or provide the buyer with their renegotiated agreement. The agreement can be terminated if either party fails to respond during the specified time.

What differs between this contingency and the others is that ff the seller receives a bona fide offer from another buyer, they must notify the buyer of their intent to terminate. The buyer then has a specified period, usually 24 hours or more, to remove the contingency with proof or provide a renegotiated agreement. The seller then has 2 days to accept the buyer’s proof to proceed without the contingency, accept the buyer’s new agreement, or terminate the agreement. With the timed kickout, the buyer has the opportunity to prove they can still make the deal whereas without the timed kickout, the seller can move on with the other offers and terminate.

Option 4: Sale and Settlement of Other Property Contingency With Right to Market

Without the kickout, the sale and settlement contingency favors the seller even more, providing the most options to terminate a contract. Like the previous examples, this contingency requires a buyer to list and accept an agreement on their property within a specified time period. The buyer acknowledges that the seller has a right to continue to market their property; however, if the seller accepts an offer from a new buyer, the current buyer’s agreement is terminated. The seller does not need to provide prior notice, and the buyer doesn’t have the opportunity to respond. This presents the greatest risk for the buyer and the strongest competitive advantage for the seller.

If a buyer locks into an agreement for their own property and the seller approves, the seller’s right to market their property ceases and the transaction continues as agreed. Like the above examples, the seller has a way out if the buyer’s commitment date passes, and since the buyer needs to sell their home in order to obtain a mortgage, the language in this contingency for termination supersedes the mortgage contingency.

Though the language may appear redundant, each contingency has minor nuances that gradually shift the control from the buyer to seller. If you require a home settlement or sale contingency, your real estate team can offer the best option as it relates to your situation and the current market conditions. With the right communication and strategy, the burden of a contingency can be alleviated and the transaction’s potential to continue improved. Outside factors certainly influence decisions and challenge emotions, but if a buyer presents a strong offer with a high likelihood of selling their property and accepting an equally strong offer, the sale can continue as planned. Visions of gourmet meals return. Peace resumes when everyone has their own room. The lawn can be the Maracana. That oasis doesn’t need to disappear.

 

The Crossing Fawn

Two weeks ago, I took the scenic road to work.

One of the more stunning drives in Bucks County, the quiet, two-lane road has sprawling farms and beautiful multi-acre properties on either side, minimal traffic, and an abundance of nature, so it’s easy to get lost in present thoughts while the coffee stirs. In the winter months, the early morning sun creates glares in the windshield, which makes it difficult to see the walkers in the middle of the road near the blindspots. It’s better to stay alert and keep within the limit.

On this particular morning, a hundred feet ahead, a creature the size of a fox or dog emerged from the tree line to my right. The downshifting gears startled the animal, and as I approached I realized it was a spotted fawn churning its scrawny legs on the slippery road as it crossed to the other side. Coming to a near stop, I watched the fawn traipse into the field to the left then waited for its mother to cross. I eased by, checking the rearview mirrow. Five seconds, ten seconds, twenty seconds later and still nothing.

I don’t know much about the parenting methods of deer, but I began to wonder how long can a fawn last without its mother?

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I’m fortunate to have always known a mother’s unconditional love. My mom’s patience and support were key ingredients for my growth. She allowed my brother, sister, and I to choose our paths and make our mistakes, and it was up to us to either learn from those mistakes or not, to follow the worn path or forge one for ourselves.

Bound by her strong religious values and reserved wisdom, Mom had a peaceful approach to every problem, yet I still remember one of the rare times she had to give me some hard truth.

Some may find this amusing, but in middle school I joined the wrestling team. At the time, my rec basketball career was winding down, and my full-time soccer obsession was ramping up. I wasn’t very good at wrestling. My brother said I was good at counting the lights. I enjoyed training but hated losing weight because I loved to eat.

We had a star wrestler at 120 pounds and other really good ones at the surrounding weight classes, so in order to compete, I had to drop to 105. I cut a lot of weight in the beginning and stuck with it for most of the season. Thanksgiving was torturous. Limited turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and pumpkin pie. The winter holidays nearly broke me, but somewhere around the chocolate holiday and birthday cake I missed weight. Our team had a rule that anyone who missed weight was out the next two matches. It was a fair rule. Letting down your team had logical consequences. So I did what any 13 year-old know-it-all would do. I quit.

Mom is a sweet and generous person. Devoted in her church, active in the school and community, she gave up much of her time to ensure we had everything we needed to be successful. But as the baby of the family, the unofficial Golden Child, I’d gotten too comfortable with the back rubs or gentle words of encouragement.

Mom was furious.

As a former multi-sport athlete, a current PE Teacher and fitness instructor, she lashed out at me in a way I’d never experienced before or since.

I had to watch my teammates finish the season without me. Nobody cared. The team went on. Weeks later, the AD stopped me in the hallway and asked if I wanted to rejoin the team for the final tournament. I wouldn’t be allowed in the main pool but the one for the leftovers. I gave it a thought then asked Mom when I got home.

“No way,” she said, still livid. “You quit. You don’t get to just walk on back.”

It was a hard lesson but a valuable one. Loyalty and grit became cornerstones of my growing philosophy.

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For days, I worried about the fawn crossing the road. Would it ever again know its mother’s unconditional love? Would it ever again know the difference between the deer version of the pat on the back or the sometimes needed kick in the rear. Would it grow old and re-cycle the lessons received from its mother?

Later, I read up on the survival of fawns. They are born unscented, so the mother leaves them alone in the first few weeks, keeping them hidden while drawing any attention of predators away. When the time is right, she’ll come back to nurse but mostly leaves them for their protection. Often, this is when humans intervene, thinking they are rescuing an abandoned fawn when really they are interfering with the maturation process. When fawns are able to forage and outrun danger, they join the mother, who teaches them how to survive. For the next six to twelve months, the fawn will lose its spots, become one with the herd, and learn to live independently.

Since it’s early June, the fawn is likely early in the exploration phase. I like to think the mother was somewhere nearby in the tree cover, teaching the fawn to mind roads and loud machinery from a distance, allowing it to process its mistake. This time, the fawn learned its lesson, given its nonchalance as it embraced the safety of the field. Next time, maybe it will look before crossing the road.

Mom isn’t a good teacher, she’s a great teacher. Unlike fawns, who have a year to wise up before they’re on their own, I had the privilege of learning from Mom for forty-six years. Great teachers don’t have to say much. They allow situations to speak for themselves. In teacher language, these are called teachable moments.

Even in her final days, as her strength waned and her voice softened, she was still teaching.

Book of the Month: Notes from a Deserter by C.W. Towarnicki

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Under the backdrop of rural Montgomery County, Pennsylvania during the Civil War, Notes from a Deserter delivers a fictionalized account of a real local soldier, William Henry Howe, a war deserter whose grave still sits on his Perkiomenville farm, near where Towarnicki resides. Much of Howe’s life remains largely unknown, but as Towarnicki dove into America’s deadliest conflict and the effects on local farmers joining the cause, he connected the dots between Howe’s 275-mile journey from the Battle of Fredericksburg to a reported firefight with a bounty hunter at Howe’s homestead to the end of a rope at Fort Mifflin, where Howe’s initials are still carved into the jail cell wall. Branching from the main character, Towarnicki captures the period through the points of view of many secondary characters, among them farmers, doctors, soldiers, runaway slaves, and business owners, linking their stories around Howe’s journey.

Towarnicki, born and raised in Warminster, PA, where he graduated from Archbishop Wood, followed his love of the outdoors to the University of Montana before returning home to earn his M.F.A. in Creative Writing at Arcadia University, where we first met. As a writer of historical fiction, he encapsulates the natural world prior to industrialization and the surrounding Philadelphia counties that still cling onto those ideals. While spending a week of residency in Edinburgh, Scotland, with our Arcadia cohort, Towarnicki took several of us to Dunbar and the home of John Muir, the unofficial father of the U.S. National Park and one of our country’s greatest preservationists. He also introduced me to the writings of John McPhee, whose work has had a tremendous impact on my own writing the past ten years.

Here, in the book’s opening, Towarnicki introduces the reader to the main character among his surroundings.

The early glow of dawn emerged with the light of a hovering moon, and blushing red clouds cast faint shadows over the open meadow beside the farmhouse. A barred owl called out in echo of herself, with only a rooster answering.

In that dim beginning of day, William emerged from the wood line holding two rabbits hanging stiff by their feet in one hand, and the traps he pulled in the other. He was a thin man with the hint of a beard. He walked with short, stiff strides as if carrying an invisible sack of feed at all times.

Stepping into the field, he looked uphill toward the stone farmhouse bathing broadside in the sunrise. The window where his wife may have been watching from was a golden mirror of the eastern sky. With a slight tilt of his head, the broad brim of his straw planter’s hat cast his face in a shadow.

The shortening of the days, the recent rains, and his evolving understanding of raising crops had yielded a disorganized patchwork of fields that had not yet produced their potential. He worked the whole growing season in the hopes that his family would be able to rely on the harvest while he was gone to the war. If winter lingered, they would need wild fare to sustain them. He knew this well and laid corners of a springhouse in his mind. Between this imaginary work and dreaming, he could never find the words to tell Hannah of his plans to enlist. Somehow, though, she already knew.

Dealing with tragedies and transformations, Notes from a Deserter effectively portrays the complexity of conflicts that defined our nation’s history through a localized lens.

We Are What We Eat

We’ve all heard the phrase You are what you eat.

If we’re speaking in nutritional terms, yes, you are that cheesesteak, six pack, or ice cream sundae. Or if you err on the healthy side, you can be the chicken salad, protein smoothie, or shrimp fajita.

This common concept can be revamped when analyzing our habits and the identity we want to empower. Consider the gap between what you want and what you’re actually doing to get what you want. Do your actions align with your goals?

For example, if I want to be a writer, yet I spend my writing time scrolling, daydreaming, or engaging my monkey mind, I then become a scroller, a daydreamer, or a monkey. Not a writer.

Say you want to be a better salesperson but spend your time remaining in your comfort zone, fearing rejection, or complaining about the success of others, you’d be a comforter, complainer, or a rejection-fearer. Not a salesperson.

Every team has the same goal of winning the championship.

What separates us from achieving success is the persistence of converting action goals into habits and improving one step at a time. There is a sharpened blade at the end of all that grinding.

In How Champions Think, summarized in a previous post, Dr. Bob Rotella asks if you had a camera that followed you around all day like a reality show, would the camera reveal the identity you want or something else entirely?

Would it see the hard-worker, over-achiever, empathizer, or leader?

Or would it capture the dilly-dallier, coaster, judger, or pretender?

We become our actions. When we strive to reach goals, our behaviors must align with those goals. Action goals steer us toward creating better habits, building the identity we want for ourselves.

Be a runner; not a sleeper-inner. Be an athlete; not a gamer. Be a teacher; not a dictator. Be a parent; not a critic. Be a doer; not a bystander. Be a champion; not an excuse-maker.

 

The Ins and Outs of Mortgage Contingencies

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Unless they have hundreds of thousands of dollars lying around, most potential homebuyers will be acquiring a mortgage to purchase a home. In order to obtain a mortgage, a prospective lender will comb through the buyer’s finances and decide whether or not they are financially capable of affording the home. This process can be both stressful and time sensitive for all parties involved, which is why most real estate professionals recommend an early pre-approval to alleviate some of the tension and confusion of the homebuying process.

Because most buyers require financing, a majority will add a mortgage contingency to an offer on a subsequent home purchase. A mortgage contingency is a clause in an Agreement of Sale that protects the buyer (and seller) from following through with an agreement the buyer cannot afford. In most situations, a mortgage contingency allows a buyer to walk away from a transaction without suffering any legal repercussions or financial liabilities.

In Pennsylvania, there are several ways a mortgage contingency can affect the success of a transaction.

With the help of a lender prior to writing an offer, a buyer will submit a range of potential interest rates on the Agreement of Sale during the pre-qualification stage. After the application process, if the expected interest rate exceeds the maximum amount designated within the 30-60 days between offer acceptance and execution due to extreme fluctuations, the buyer can terminate the contract. This protects a buyer in cases of economic instability outside of their control, which is not as common unless the country’s economy experiences high volatility like we’ve seen in recent months.

Outside of economic volatility, mortgage contingencies have more likely conditions, which is why it’s one of the most important parts of a real estate transaction. When submitting an offer, the buyer will agree on a mortgage commitment date, a date prior to settlement in which they expect to obtain a mortgage approval. Typically, this falls within two weeks prior to settlement on a 30 day closing or a little earlier for a 45-60 day closing.

The buyer must continue to demonstrate good faith in receiving mortgage approval, even if they may not be approved. If a buyer’s mortgage application is denied by a lender, and the buyer either provided inaccurate information or did not do their due diligence, the seller may terminate a contract, and the buyer may lose their deposit.

However, if the buyer does everything within their control to pursue a loan and is denied, they are entitled to a return of their deposit. Any costs the buyer incurs as part of the mortgage approval process (appraisal, title insurance etc.) will be taken as a loss.

How does a mortgage contingency affect the seller?

As stated above, the seller has some control to terminate a deal if the buyer does not hold up their end of the commitment. A seller can terminate a contract if the buyer does not present a mortgage approval by the stated date, the approval does not satisfy the loans terms as stated in the contract, or if the buyer’s mortgage approval has additional conditions not specified in the Agreement of Sale that are not removed with 7 days after the commitment date (conditional home sale, inaccurate approval date, etc.).

A mortgage contingency also affects a seller when the seller receives multiple offers and must evaluate the strength of each offer. The contingency is another way out for a buyer, which means if the buyer doesn’t gain mortgage approval, a seller may be forced to put the house back onto the market, which can be costly, especially if the seller is under contract for a new home of their own.

Another option for a seller, though not as common, can be to offer financial support for a buyer so the mortgage can be approved. Similar to a seller’s concession in another section of the Agreement of Sale, sellers have the ability to pay for loan origination fees or points to help a buyer get their rate within the range stated in the contract. This can be a loss for the seller but means the deal can proceed without the issue of the contingency. If the seller were already planning to contribute to a buyer’s closing costs or agent compensation, this could move support from one place to another to secure the deal.

The final hurdle of the mortgage contingency involves needed repairs before a lender or insurance company can approve the mortgage. These issues would be found during the appraisal and not necessarily the home inspection. Though substantial issues would likely appear in both, the home inspection is a separate contingency with its own conditions. If a property requires immediate repairs in order for the buyer to obtain mortgage approval, a buyer must notify the seller of the repairs, and a negotiation period will follow. Both the buyer and seller will have their own exits if either party does not respond or cooperate with the necessary demands.

What if a buyer chooses to waive a mortgage contingency?

Many believe this makes the offer a cash offer, yet this is misleading. A buyer may waive a mortgage contingency regardless if they are using cash or require a mortgage. Waiving the contingency only means the deal is not dependent on acquiring the mortgage. A buyer who waives the mortgage contingency and who still plans on using a mortgage for funds likely has solid financial footing and confidence they’ll be approved. Waiving a mortgage contingency strengthens an offer, removing a potential buyer exit. If a buyer waives the mortgage contingency and does not qualify for a mortgage, the next steps become complicated because they could owe the seller a substantial amount of money or find another way out.

In most transactions, a seller will request a Buyer Financial Information sheet, which will highlight a buyer’s assets and liabilities to determine buying power. Sellers view this statement if the buyer is presenting an all-cash offer but will also analyze this document if the buyer is obtaining a mortgage for the reason stated above. A seller must do their due diligence as well and be certain a buyer can perform their end of the deal before acceptance.

Although mortgage contingencies have strict conditions, a majority of real estate transactions are dependent on a loan approval process. An experienced, trusted real estate team, which includes agent, lender, title company, and insurance provider can help potential homebuyers get through the variables and into their new home with ease.

Coaching Fundamentals: Reflect and Repeat

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When giving feedback to my college practicum teachers following their lessons, I often start by asking the teacher how they felt about the lesson. Then when I provide feedback, I say, “When you teach this lesson again, [Insert any feedback].”

“You’ll demonstrate with more clarity using the three types of learners.”

“You’ll continue to structure the lesson to maximize practice.”

“You’ll provide more constructive feedback to as many students as possible.”

Or

“You’ll maintain engagement to avoid disruptive behaviors.”

In starting the conversation this way, I’m trying to emphasize how important reflection and repetition are for growth.

It’s easy to play Monday Morning Quarterback while watching inexperienced performers, but it’s more important for young teachers and coaches to self-reflect on a lesson’s successes and failures then have the opportunity to make and incorporate necessary changes.

If coaches can articulate what they did well. they’ll take those wins into future lessons. If they can’t pinpoint what they can fix, I usually back it up with video evidence.

“Replay the demonstration and track the time log.”

“Look at minute fifteen and see the students throwing the basketball off the ceiling.”

“Follow this student and count how many swings they took in 45 minutes.”

Physical evidence is very compelling for young teachers.

Believe me, I’ve turned the camera on myself a few times and opened my eyes to teaching practices I’d still like to improve. But as a cooperating teacher, my purpose is to guide young professionals on how to become better teachers, coaches, and individuals.

Reflection is an integral part of the learning process. Sometimes, because of the pace of the day, we may have limited time to reflect after a lesson. It could be the thirty seconds between one class leaving and the next class arriving, maybe during the bus or car ride home, or while making dinner or before putting the kids to bed. But reflection should be a fundamental practice for teachers and coaches.

What is working? What’s not working? Why? What can I try differently to make the lesson better?

Simple questions, but the answers will guide the next part of the process—Repeat.

As teachers and coaches, we tell our students or players the key to mastery is repetition. Perfect practice makes perfect. Whether it’s free kicks around a wall, foul shots while others talk trash, backhands on the move, or backflips into a foam pit, repetition with quality feedback leads to skill acquisition. During practice time, we intervene with cues or suggestions, coaching points to make the movement better. We wouldn’t let a player pass the ball 10 times in a row to the other team in a game without intervening, so the same concept applies to pedagogy. We want to help young teachers and coaches identify strengths and weaknesses, make necessary adjustments then send them back onto the field.

Inexperienced teachers and coaches are in an infancy stage of their lesson building. They’re often toying with different structures and concepts, exploring their philosophies, in many ways overthinking as they try to focus on improving too many skills at once. Experienced teachers have the benefit of repeating lessons and narrowing their focus. I may teach a lesson a half dozen times a week or more, refining one part every time. When I teach a new lesson or introduce a new concept, the first lessons can be rough, but as reflection and repetition continues, the lesson improves, the goals have more clarity, practice time becomes more efficient, modifications move closer to a flow state, the games have better rules, and students have more engagement, which leads to more time on task and more learning. By the end of the week, goals, activities, and assessments are better aligned.

Over weeks, months, and years of reflect-repeat, experienced teachers become more deliberate about how they teach, how they want learners to perform, and how they define success. Confidence and understanding would never materialize if they taught a lesson once then moved on because of too many mistakes.

One of the difficulties of being a young teacher or coach is limited opportunities inhibit repetition. My young professionals teach a lesson as part of their course then may not be in a position to teach the lesson again for some time. They may need to take the reflect-repeat process with them and apply it at the gym, soccer practice, or summer camp.

It took many summer camps observing experienced coaches for me to learn how to break down a skill. It took an entire semester of student teaching before I felt comfortable in front of students. It took two or three years of teaching on a regular basis, creating, adjusting, and failing to develop my own processes and feel competent. It took a number of years later to feel as if I’d mastered my craft. But I’m still growing and learning how to get better.

As in other areas of life, teaching and coaching takes time to develop requisite skills. That’s why great players don’t always make great coaches. By reflecting on lessons then having opportunities to practice in future sessions, any young teacher or coach can find the path toward growth and mastery more clear.

 

 

 

 

 

How Rory McIlroy Remained Present to Win the Masters

With a chance to win the 2025 Masters, Rory McIlroy stood over a four-foot birdie putt in the first playoff hole and rolled the ball straight into the bottom of the cup. Instantly, he dropped his putter and fell to his knees, flooded with emotions as he buried his face in his hands. Tears of joy, anguish, relief—name it—he experienced it all in one round.

The journey to become a Masters champion and the sixth player to earn a career Grand Slam was long and arduous for Rory. The path alone would break 99.99% of the athletes who tried to emulate it. 

Go back to the 18th hole when he carried a one-shot lead and buried his approach in the sand. Then sent his par putt wide to allow Justin Rose back into the competition. Go back to the 13th when his then four-shot lead suffered a major blow when he found the creek on his third shot and scored a seven. Go back to the opening hole when he started the round with a two-shot lead and made double-bogey.

Rory McIlroy has been one of the dominant players in golf over the last decade, along with Scottie Sheffler, Jon Rahm, and a few others. Yet McIlroy hadn’t won a major since 2014 when he topped Phil Mickelson by one stroke to hoist the PGA Championship, his second major of that year. Since then, in the majors, he finished second four times, including the previous two U.S Opens. He also finished in the top-ten twenty-one times, and was top-five in three out of four majors in 2022.

Last year’s collapse at the U.S. Open nearly broke him.

With a two-shot lead and three holes to go, he missed two par putts within four feet and lost the title to Bryson DeChambeau. The lasting images were of him jetting straight to his car and exiting the club without speaking to anyone.

Recently, McIlroy has been dealing with personal conflicts: a near-divorce that became public for its rapid turnaround as well as the challenges of being the sacrificial spokesperson for the PGA, who became somewhat thrown under a bus after the announced merger with LIV. Add to that mountain of pressure the questions of when he’ll win another major.

Eleven years is an incredible amount of time. Nearly a third of his life. Especially for an athlete whose window of opportunity gets smaller with every passing year.

Something kept McIlroy from self-destruction during the final round of the Masters. Every time he faltered, he rebounded to produce some of the greatest shots of the tournament. His second shot on the 15th was legendary.

After his victory, he spoke about his connection to Dr. Bob Rotella, whose work has been featured previously in this blog from his book How Champions Think. Even the best athletes make mistakes, but what separates champions from the rest of the field is how they remain present. Rotella often ruminates on focusing on the performance process not the result and to make your next shot your best shot, also the title of his most recent book.

Justin Rose, who played himself out of the lead the day before, rallied to shoot the lowest score of the day and tie McIlroy after 72 holes. The experienced Brit carried the momentum heading into the playoff as well as the persona of being a clutch performer with numerous Ryder Cup wins and the 2013 U.S. Open title at Merion.

At the start of the playoff hole, Rory was playing more than Rose. Many would say he was playing against the demons trying to tarnish his own legacy. Others might say he was playing against himself.

How did he respond?

He drove the center of the fairway then drilled an approach to within three feet of the hole, setting up one of the defining moments in his career.